So who goes to a swinger clubs like Mingles?

So, if you take a look in your local bar or restaurant, remove any under 25’s from the scene and that’s what our members look like. They come from all kinds of backgrounds, all kinds of jobs and have all kinds of fantasies!  Here's a look at some of the members at Mingles!

Sarah (34) & Bob (46) - Couple

Bob and Sarah have been together about 6 years and recently got married both for the second time, Bob has two grown up children and Sarah has 3 children who live with them. They had never had any experience of the lifestyle prior to visiting Mingles, but were curious about the lifestyle and came along very nervous.

Sarah likes to dress up very sexy in revealing outfits and Bob is always dressed smartly, he loves seeing other people admiring his wife. They never played with any other couples to start with but were always a good laugh at the bar and Sarah was often the life and sole of the dance floor. After coming to the club quite regularly for a few months Sarah started to explore her Bi-Sexual side and played with a few other ladies while Bob watched.

Their confidence grew with each visit and now they are exploring soft swapping with other couples, they also enjoy having sex together in the lockable room as with teenagers at home privacy is sometimes an issue.

Michelle (25) - Single Female

Michelle is a single female and amazed us when she walked through the door for the first time. She instantly felt at home and very confident and was walking around the club almost naked within about two hours of being there (much to the enjoyment of everyone else).

Very few have the confidence to do that, especially as a single female, but the nice part about the lifestyle there is very little judgement or jealousy of others, it is a very accepting and respectful environment and of course safe and secure, we even walk our single females back to the car park at the end of the night.

Chris (35) - Single Male

Chris is divorced and doesn’t really have time for a relationship due to long hours spent working away a lot, but when he is home he regularly attends our club as the main part of his social life. 

Chris is laid back and friendly and has made many friends which often means there is a single lady or couple that ask him to join them upstairs, as well as invitations to other events and parties outside of the club.

Samantha (49) & Adrian (51) - Couple

Samantha and Adrian were childhood sweethearts meeting when they were just 17 & 15, they have been married for 27 years and have been in the lifestyle for about 8 years. It was Samantha who had only ever slept with Adrian decided that it would be fun to widen their horizons and they got into the lifestyle by visiting a club.

They are now very experienced swingers and regularly go on swinging holidays and visit clubs with their friends, they usually bring a few friends with them and are always happy for new people to join their circle to socialise and often join in the fun as well. 

Please note some details have been changed to protect identities, 

Times a ‘changing.

I've been swinging on and off for 9 years and I have learned so much in that time, the constant evolution of preferences and changes in attitude, swinging has been the biggest learning curve of a journey I have had.

So what is swinging? It is defined as a lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple... well I am a single female so how does that define swinging for me?... it doesn't, as a swingle the social definitions don't' tend to apply as I am not going to be exchanging partners with another couple, but like any other person if the lifestyle I too have my own preferences, likes and dislikes.

Being a swingle, for me, is very different from being in a couple and I find I am approached from every angle, from the single guys as they don't have to share me with anyone and find it less intimidating and often by couples seeking to fulfill their own fantasies of a threesome or cuck games, it gives me the freedom to play how I like and with whom I like as I am on my own so no compromise or discussion is needed like in a relationship which is great, however it has its downsides as with a lot of couples I am seen as an object to fulfill their needs and no real considerations of my own, and I also feel uncomfortable going to new clubs and parties on my own for safety reasons.
In the 9 years of swinging my preferences have changed so much, I started out as a single girl and preferred meeting for gang-bangs and orgies, I played a numbers game, it wasn't so much the quality but quantity for me, the feeling of being able to get a lot of men to play with was a massive ego boost.

Growing up I was the ugly duckling and I was often ignored and passed by because I was the awkward geeky kid with terrible skin and no shape, when all my friends had their first boyfriends I sat at home studying for my exams. Until I hit about 18 yrs old, I was never really noticed and my confidence was an all-time low, so when I grew into my looks and I found that I started getting noticed, I used sex as a confidence boost.

Then I met my ex-partner, he wasn't interested in the swinging lifestyle to begin with it took 18 months and a lot of discussions to get him to experience it, with that it meant having rules in place to keep us both comfortable, sharing your partner can be extremely scary to begin with and we found having set rules made it easier. During that time I calmed down a lot my preferences changed and we mainly played with other couples and with single girls as not to make my partner jealous and to keep within our rules.

Now 9 years on I have changed my preferences yet again, preferring quality over quantity with mostly single girls and guys but also choosing to play more one on one but overall I much prefer the social side of the lifestyle and could happily just chat all night.

The important thing I have found throughout is to only do what you are comfortable with and if you're in a relationship making sure you are both secure enough to deal with the consequences, over the years I have seen so many people not communicating with their partners about how they feel and then problems arise such as jealousy and resentment... communication is key.

Sit down and talk about things and how you would feel about certain things for example with my ex he could have sex with anyone he wanted, it never fazed me in the slightest however if he then spent the night or was texting her for days afterwards I had a real problem.

Have clear rules, trust and respect, be clear on your own preferences and compromise.
Red x

Swinging, what's the worst that can happen?

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Welcome to the Mingles blog.

WARNING - This blog contains an adult topic, and therefore we would advise that it is only suitable reading for people over the age of 18.

The purpose of this blog is to provide information on the UK adult lifestyle, otherwise know as swinging.   We will be looking at swingers clubs, swinging sites, the lifestyle in general, advice for new couples and singles entering the scene as well as hopefully clearing up some of the myths.

We aim to provide positive information, opinions, advice and stories for people looking to join the scene, interested in knowing more, or those already in the lifestyle.   We will always welcome discussion and comments from others but would ask the judgement of people in the lifestyle be left elsewhere, we are not here to judge, only to discuss and advise. 

Swinging isn't for everyone, however we should all respect others relationship and lifestyle choices.  We sometimes may not agree with them, but that doesn't make them wrong, those choices may be just wrong for you.

Swinging in the UK is on the rise, as are the amount of swingers clubs which is great for anyone wishing to meet like-minded adults, find friendships, enjoy the huge social side of swinging and fulfil fantasies only ever dreamed of before.  There are also countless swinging websites where you can add a profile, and search for other couples / singles and then arrange to meet up, make friends, socialise and potentially "play" as well.

As divorce rates rise, and couples seek thrills and sexual experiences outside of the monogamous and more traditional relationships, swinging allows partners to share their innermost sexual desires and allows them to share them with the one they love and are committed to.  Swinging in the main, allows for trust, honesty, transparency and couples to truly be themselves with each other.

Swinging or being in the lifestyle, is a great opportunity for couples to enhance an already great sex life, build trust, be themselves and fulfil fantasies they might not otherwise be able to act out on their own, swinging also attracts single ladies and guys, who don't necessarily want an emotional or long term relationship, but love sex and again have fantasies they wish to fulfil.  Swingers Clubs, we believe, also provide a very safe environment particularly for single women, who otherwise may put themselves in danger meeting single men alone for social and sexual experiences.

A little background on us:

Jason and I met in November 2009 and started swinging 3 years ago, we started out in a club, and have loved the club scene ever since.    In August 2013, we started converting an empty building we owned and opened Mingles in Colchester, Essex, in 2014.   We built the club with another couple (swinging friends) over the period of a year in our spare time, and then opened in August 2014.   In January 2015, our business partners unfortunately had to leave the business due to other work and personal reasons, but we will be forever grateful for their hard work, passion, commitment and friendship.  It goes without saying that Mingles wouldn't be what it is today without them!

We hope you find this blog, interesting, informative and fun too! 

Rebecca & Jason xxx